


my heart is so light

by owlsii



Series: weirdness [5]
Category: Mary Poppins (Movies)
Genre: Autism, Autistic Jack, Coming Out, Established Relationship, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Morning Cuddles, Stimming, Trans Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-02-19
Packaged: 2019-10-31 07:09:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17844758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlsii/pseuds/owlsii
Summary: “We can’t stand here kissin’ all day,” Jack points out.“And why not?” Michael shoots back.{ no prior reading of this series required, although reading "each feeling a mystery" might help you understand jack's thought patterns a little more. but this can be read stand-alone! }





	my heart is so light

**Author's Note:**

> ok so this fic came about because i had like four different ideas that wouldn't be long enough for a full-on fic. so i just shoved them all together and i think you can tell but yknow what, who cares, have some nice michael/jack content
> 
> also it might be helpful to have read other fics of this series, but if you don't want to: jack is autistic and bc there's no word for it yet, he calls it being Weird

The dawn’s light hits the ground of London, and Michael squeezes his eyes shut tighter. It’s so comfy and warm in bed and he wishes he didn’t have to get up. He opens his eyes slowly, savoring the moment. The mattress moves slightly and he turns around to see Jack. His eyes soften immediately at the sight of his boyfriend, bathed in the sunlight.

Jack’s breathing quietly, his mouth open slightly. He’s curled up in a ball, clutching his hat to his chest. Michael doesn’t really understand why Jack sleeps like this, like he’s shielding himself from the world.

Sometimes, after Jack finishes his rounds and stays the night, Michael is nearly asleep, and he can feel the mattress dip as Jack curls up, not even attempting to cuddle. Then, rarely, Michael feels Jack’s arms wrap around his chest from behind, one hand always holding his cap. He’s always slow, like he’s unsure if Michael would really want this, and Michael always whispers an “I love you,” just so be sure he knows.

“Good morning, dear,” Michael says now, nearly silent.

Jack blinks his eyes open, sleepy and cute, and Michael has a sudden burst of love for him. Jack smiles, but he looks nervous, something Michael’s been able to sense more often, now that they’re spending so much time together.

“Can I kiss you?” Michael asks. He always asks. Jack nods slowly, and tilts his head so Michael can kiss him. He still looks nervous, and he’s rubbing the brim of his cap. “Can you speak?”

Jack shakes his head, but it doesn’t alarm Michael. He’s usually like this in the morning, especially if he’s tired.

“That’s alright. We can stay in bed for a while longer, until you get your words back,” Michael says, combing his fingers through Jack’s soft hair. Jack smiles and nuzzles into Michael’s arms.

~

The children are already awake when Michael and Jack walk downstairs. Ellen is trying to wrangle them together to sit at the breakfast table, but it’s not really working.

“Good morning everyone,” Michael calls, and the kids stop play-fighting to hug him. “Let’s sit down and eat, shall we?”

To the relief of Ellen, everyone finally gets in a chair. After serving breakfast (and complaining about how rowdy the children are) she sits with the family. Because of course, she’s a part of it, too.

“I want to go to the park today!” Georgie says, a bit too loud for this early in the morning. “Gilly wants to go on an adventure.”

He adjusts the toy giraffe, who’s sitting on the table next to his plate. No one dares to move Gilly. They all learned their lesson from last time.

“Well, I’m sure John or Annabel would want to take you,” Michael says, chewing a piece of his egg.

“But I want everyone to come,” Georgie whines. He’s excellent at pouting. It’s a fine art that he’s already mastered at such a young age.

“You don’t have work today,” Jack comments nonchalantly. He’s leaning his head on Michael’s shoulder, already finished with his meal.

“I suppose I could join your adventure,” Michael gives in.

The children cheer and Gilly is thrown into the air in celebration. He almost lands in Michael’s plate, but Jack catches him just before his nose touches the toast.

“I’ve never heard of flyin’ giraffes before,” he says, smiling. Georgie giggles and hugs Gilly to his chest.

The rest of breakfast passes by relatively quietly. But then Jack’s hand slowly moves towards Michael’s until Michael finally decides _what the hell_ and tangles their fingers together. Then he suddenly takes a long sip of tea, trying to hide the blush that’s partly _his hand is so warm_ and partly _oh god I hope no one notices._

Jack takes another piece of toast with his other hand, as if nothing out of the ordinary is happening. Ellen raises an eyebrow at Michael, but doesn’t say anything. Then, as Annabel sets down her glass, their hands catch her gaze.

“Father,” Annabel says slowly. “Why are you holding Jack’s hand?”

Michael sets down his tea, face completely red. He opens his mouth, then closes it again, and then opens it again.

“Uh,” he says blankly.

“It looks like Jack’s your girlfriend!” Georgie says.

“ _Is_ Jack your girlfriend?” John asks. He glares at Georgie for a moment. “I mean—boyfriend?”

Michael’s still opening and closing his mouth like a fish. After a few long moments, he regains his ability to speak.

“Um, well, Jack and I—” he sputters.

“Is that why Jack is always staying over? And sleeping in your room?” John asks, which only sends his father into another round of fish-like mouth movements. “I thought only boys and girls could hold hands and sleep in each other’s rooms. And Jack isn’t a girl.”

Jack has said nothing this entire time, because he’s too busy eating his toast.

“Well, uh, dear, why don’t you explain?” Michael turns to him, desperate.

“They’re your kids.” Jack sips his tea.

“I—Jack!” Michael stammers.

“You called Jack ‘dear’ and you only called Mother that!” Annabel says loudly.

“Is Jack our new mother?” Georgie asks. “I don’t want a new one!”

“Alright, children, be quiet!” Michael says. He takes a deep breath. “Jack is my boyfriend. That’s why he sleeps in my room. Boys can hold hands and girls can hold hands. And Jack isn’t your new mother.”

Everyone is quiet. Surprisingly, Ellen is the first one to speak.

“I thought he was into Jane,” she says, nodding at Jack. “They’re always holding hands, too.”

“I don’t love Jane like that,” Jack speaks up, tightening his grip on Michael’s hand. “I don’t love girls like that.”

There’s a pause. Gears turn in the children’s heads.

“Father...” Georgie breaks the silence. His voice is quiet for once. “Did... did you love Mother?”

“Yes, of course I loved her,” Michael says immediately, his voice soft, even though the use of past tense tugs at his heart a bit. “Why wouldn’t you think that?”

“Because Jack said he doesn’t love girls and it’s because he loves boys instead. If you love Jack, does that mean you didn’t love Mother?” Georgie looks like he’s about to cry, hugging Gilly tightly.

“People can love both boys and girls, and that’s okay,” Michael says calmly. He looks around at all three of his children. “Some people only love boys _or_ girls, and that’s okay, too.”

“It’s not for some people,” Ellen mutters before she can stop herself. Michael and Jack whip their heads towards her, eyes wide. She puts her hands up. “I’m fine with it, calm yourselves! I was just sayin’ that because I want you two to be careful, alright?”

“What do you mean?” Georgie tilts his head.

“I heard it at school,” John says before his father can answer. “The teacher said two boys liking each other is wrong because it’s not real love.”

“Your teacher is the one that’s wrong,” Jack says firmly. “But it’s very important that none of you go around tellin’ people about me and your father, okay? It’s a secret.”

The children nod seriously, and that’s the end of the discussion. Michael sighs. That was _not_ how he expected his morning to go.

~

It’s after breakfast and Jack is upstairs, checking and rechecking Michael’s room. His hands are shaking and he can feel his breathing pick up speed. _I last saw it in here. It has to be here. Where is it where is it where is it—_

“Jack?”

He turns around at the sound of Michael’s voice, which soothes him only slightly. Without thinking, he starts to bite his fingertips, a nervous Weird habit of his.

“What’s wrong, dear?” Michael says, shutting the door behind him. He reaches up and gently grabs Jack’s wrists, pulling them away from his mouth.

“My necklace,” Jack says. The panicked energy inside of him bursts and he shoves Michael away to search in between the blankets. “My parents’ necklace, it has their wedding rings on it and it’s the last thing I have of theirs and if I don’t get it back I don’t know what I’ll do because y’know what happened to ‘em and—”

“Jack, calm down,” Michael says. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a silver chain, with two rings strung together. Jack clutches at it like it’s food and he’s gone days without eating. He puts it on hurriedly and then tucks it under his shirt. “You had it on when you fell asleep last night so I took it off for you. I didn’t realize how important it was. I’m sorry.”

Jack’s face softens and he cups Michael’s face in his hands. He stares at Michael’s nose instead of his eyes.

“It’s alright, love, you didn’t know,” he says. He kisses Michael softly and laughs a little when Michael puts his hands on his hips. They pull back, still connected. Jack stares at Michael’s forehead this time, but he sees the worried look in his eyes.

“Do you think we’ll ever... get caught?” Michael asks.

“Don’t think about that,” Jack says, eyebrows furrowed. “We can’t think about that.”

“But what if—” Michael tries to say.

“What if people find out I’m not a real man?” Jack interrupts. “What if the house catches fire? What if the whole world _explodes?_ We can’t worry about these things, Michael. Just enjoy it. Please.”

Michael sighs and pulls Jack closer. Then Jack looks at him with those big caring eyes and all of his anxieties melt away.

“You don’t have to tell me twice to enjoy you,” Michael says. He kisses Jack’s nose. “And you _are_ a real man.”

“Nah.” Jack grins. “I’m not, ‘cause I don’t have a big manly mustache like yours.”

Michael laughs but it’s cut off with a kiss, and his mustache tickles Jack’s lips, and they both end up smiling. Then the sound of excitable children rises from downstairs.

“We can’t stand here kissin’ all day,” Jack points out.

“And why not?” Michael shoots back.

Jack makes no argument, only smiles and kisses Michael one last time before slipping out the door.

~

“I better get goin’ then,” Jack says once the whole family is downstairs. Georgie’s holding the kite, which is now honestly more newspaper than kite, but he doesn’t care.

“But Jack! I said I wanted _everyone_ to come!” Georgie says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh,” Jack says, surprised at being included in a family outing.

Georgie sighs in exasperation. Doesn't Jack know he's been a part of the family since he climbed Big Ben for them?

“Alright, everyone, let’s go!” Michael announces. He grabs Jack’s hand and they walk through the door. The children follow them, a few steps behind.

“I’m happy for Father,” John whispers to his sister.

“He looks at Jack just like he looked at Mother,” Annabel observes, hopping down the stairs.

 _“And_ Jack’s the best at kite-flying!” Georgie adds importantly. “I hope they get married soon!”

Annabel rolls her eyes. Her father and Jack, married? That’s impossible.

And then she remembers.

Everything is possible. Even the impossible.

**Author's Note:**

> aw snap look at that cheesy ending
> 
> annabel's thoughts on her father and jack are going to pop up again, in another part of the series, if i ever get to it
> 
> anyway i hope you enjoyed this, and remember to comment!!! i have a few more fics that are all like 80% finished so maybe you'll see some more soon :D
> 
> also if you want to hear me yell about everything mary poppins (and maybe get updates on upcoming fics) follow my sideblog @tripthelights!


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